strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
