I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
