it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
