the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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