apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we're making bets on your personal life
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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