Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize