I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
