Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think my mom watched the whole time
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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