So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
