I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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