3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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