if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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