Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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