Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
