I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
