I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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