was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
