I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
