Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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