He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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