You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.