Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.