Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

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(303): View more from Colorado

Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.

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(989): View more from Michigan

But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.

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(301): View more from Maryland

You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.

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