Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

(631): View more from New York

had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a

Replies (21) Good night (955) Bad night (897)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted http://tfl.nu/rfs0

Replies (98) Good night (2097) Bad night (8891)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there http://tfl.nu/bxrn

Replies (6) Good night (5136) Bad night (1225)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead". http://tfl.nu/bwjk

Replies (10) Good night (5796) Bad night (1034)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere. http://tfl.nu/zvpn

Replies (20) Good night (5274) Bad night (1017)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already http://tfl.nu/y51h

Replies (10) Good night (2562) Bad night (2869)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella http://tfl.nu/sjyh

Replies (34) Good night (6220) Bad night (2192)
Favorite
(316): View more from Kansas

Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(316): Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her. http://tfl.nu/l2pb

Replies (31) Good night (4556) Bad night (1108)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity. http://tfl.nu/9x3b

Replies (7) Good night (621) Bad night (1363)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/5d6q

Replies (2) Good night (1260) Bad night (463)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee. http://tfl.nu/9xkv

Replies (2) Good night (2116) Bad night (489)
Favorite
(772): View more from Florida

She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(772): She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times. http://tfl.nu/p3ry

Replies (5) Good night (1636) Bad night (582)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o

Replies (15) Good night (3633) Bad night (822)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom? http://tfl.nu/z0d3

Replies (6) Good night (259) Bad night (817)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness http://tfl.nu/y6iu

Replies (11) Good night (634) Bad night (192)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: