Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
