fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize