Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
