I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think my fart just growled at me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
