all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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