are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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