Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
