I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
