everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
