He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
