Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
