I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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