Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize