i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
