Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
