This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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