I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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