I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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