Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
