can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
