Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.

(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going for alcohol poisoning.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

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(519): View more from Ontario

If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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(818): View more from California

more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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(217): View more from Illinois

Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.

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(253): View more from Washington

At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”

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