Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
