Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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