Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
