Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
