Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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