its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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