everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
