She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
tell me about the eggs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
