Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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