One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
