I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
