i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
