So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
