sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
