a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
