seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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