Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
