I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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