im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize