That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
