I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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