And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
