Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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