i just made my gag reflex go away.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
