i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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